“You can expect to see all of the glorious blood, sex and bodily fluids onstage that you are accustomed to. There’s no other band on earth that you’re going to go see that’s going to give you what we give you.” – Pustulus Maximus

September 23, 2019. Hours before GWAR played Vinyl Music Hall, I interviewed Pustulus.

The intergalactic guitarist with a potty mouth and “painful acne and pustuls” led me through 10 minutes of uncensored thoughts on GWAR, beaches, sports and the band’s current Use Your Collusion Tour.

Later this month, the tour will kick off Holiday dates that will see GWAR invade Europe for the first time in a decade.

But my mission this day was to survive the interview and the Scumdog slaughter while documenting the day GWAR returned to Florida.

Pustulus Maximus Q & A

Welcome back to Pensacola. When you’re in Florida, do you get to check out the beach and hang out with the over-tanned scumdogs?

Pustulus Maximus: I’m not aware of what you’re talking about. Beaches? No. That’s a place where people go for happiness and I really don’t enjoy that kind of shit.

What’s going on inside of you when you’re onstage seeing mortals going crazy over GWAR?

Pustulus Maximus: A lot of bad stuff. A lot of real bad stuff. Just guts on fire. Bad eating choices throughout the day. Maybe a lit bit of menopause, but it’s whatever. I’m kind of complacent the whole time. It’s kind of enraging to see people have a good time. So all I can really do is try and disappoint them. Try to hit bad notes the whole time. Try and fuck off.

Do you ever see anything in the crowd that makes you laugh or go what the hell just happened?

Pustulus Maximus: When the ugly girls pull their tits out. That makes me laugh a little bit. If I had a dollar for every bad sow that ripped their top off, I’d have about $17.

This year GWAR is returning to Europe. After a decade, is Europe ready for you?

Pustulus Maximus: Apparently not. By the size of the venue and the presales, no, they’re not ready. No, they’re not.

With all of your intergalactic activities and years with GWAR, what is the best advice you’ve ever received?

Pustulus Maximus: Best advice? Pull out.

GWAR has a great relationship with kids. Why do kids connect with GWAR so easily?

Pustulus Maximus: Community service mostly. That is a large part of it. Legal requirements. Otherwise, I’m not going to be allowed. Due to this whole thing that happened in the past, I can’t be within 500 yards of a school and I’m out here trying to just pay my dues and get some legal rights re-established. Otherwise, it makes touring a pain in the ass. A real pain in the ass. And you try to sell drugs in the wrong area one time and it follows you for life.

Whenever I used to interview Oderus. He always expressed his complicated relationship with the Washington Redskins. Are there any earth teams that drive you crazy?

Pustulus Maximus: All of them. I don’t like sports. I don’t pay any attention to sports. I’ve never understood why any punk rocker would have a fascination in sports. Nope. It’s beyond me. I don’t like any of it. I like NASCAR. I do like the fact that part of the sport is burning fossil fuels. Contributing to global warming and shit like that is pretty awesome. You can’t get another sport better than that because of that.

You guys slay, celebrities, presidents. Is there any celebrity that you would like to get on that stage?

Pustulus Maximus: I don’t really have my ear to the grindstone. Whatever that fucking phrase might be. I don’t pay attention. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I really don’t like celebrities at all. Who is out there that has an opinion.

What would you like to tell the fans that are coming out for the Use Your Collusion tour?

Pustulus Maximus: You can expect to see all of the glorious blood sex and bodily fluids onstage that you are accustomed to. There’s no other band on earth that you’re going to go see that’s going to give you what we give you. No other band is going to cum for you onstage. Or reach orgasm. I’d have to say that we’re the only ones. Everybody else is just cheap. We’re givers.

– Michael Hulin-Smith